Ladies, it’s not about you

When you know something is not about you, you instantly become less aggressive and more compassionate.

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Last week, DC radio host Danni Star walked off while live on the air after being “ambushed” and “set up” by her two male cohosts. Recently, Danni’s nanny for her children resigned and she posted on her social media that she was looking for a new nanny. Danni had previously shared intimate details of her marriage about how her husband has cheated on her in the past. And she also disclosed that her father cheated on her mother with their nanny and the affair produced a child.

An Instagram model (which I’m still unsure of her name) DM’ed Danni with her babysitting “credentials” and desire to “help” her. Danni told her cohosts about the woman and told them she would never let a female that looks like that in her house. The two cohosts then took it upon themselves to make a “workforce discrimination on pretty girls” segment and invite the Instagram model without Danni’s knowledge.

Listen to how the conversation unfolded

Besides the fact that these two men manipulated the situation to seem as though they were having a healthy debate about discrimination against pretty women- they allowed and encouraged this young lady to attack Danni and make the topic completely about her- which clearly IT WAS NOT.

What’s interesting is the Instagram model was there to- and I quote- “stand up for all the pretty girls” and voice her opinion on being “turned down for a job,” but from the moment she began speaking, she made the conversation about her.

She first plugged her modeling and singing aspirations as if that had anything to do with her so-called credentials. Then she goes on to attack Danni for being jealous, insecure, and prejudice for not considering to hire her.

When you know something is not about you, you instantly become less aggressive and more compassionate. You listen more and talk less. You empathize rather than criticize.

Let me take the time to remind you that Danni never directly responded to the woman’s message. However, the woman takes personal offense from Danni’s comment of not wanting to hire a woman that looks like her.

Lastly, the young lady proudly and humbly takes the honor of standing up for all pretty girls who can’t get jobs strictly based on their looks. Even if Danni was not directing her comment towards her, she still wants to advocate for all the pretty girls out there suffering from this heinous act of discrimination.


This young woman immediately displayed herself as a victim and in a very narcissistic-way made the entire conversation about her and her “hurt feelings.”

Ladies, please use this as a learning experience, that life is not always about you. People’s opinions, preferences, and reactions are not always about you. The way people handle their marriage, household, and personal lives are





This young woman turned a personal/family decision (that deserves no explanation) into an exaggerated women’s discrimination issue (reserved only for pretty girls) perpetuated by other non-pretty, jealous, insecure women.

One of the main indicators of someone who is not self-aware is when they begin to throw accusations and have no insight or ownership of their own behavior.

Instead of considering Danni’s past, instead of thinking “That’s her prerogative to choose her own nanny,” instead of polishing her “babysitter resume,” instead of respectfully disagreeing with Danni and walking away- she hurling nothing but accusations and played the victim.

When you are self-aware and are comfortable in your own skin- you will find no need to accuse ANYONE of anything. You will have insight and seek understanding before beginning to speak. You will respectfully state your position without arrogance, superiority, or pride. You will not take personal offense over something that is not about you. This young lady displayed the opposite.

When you know something is not about you, you instantly become less aggressive and more compassionate. You listen more and talk less. You empathize rather than criticize.

Consider the next time you feel offended by something or someone and ask yourself, “Is this about me?”

If you evaluate the situation and determine that you’ve done nothing to warrant their reaction, you’ve made every attempt to understand, and you respect their right to make their own decisions- then that’s how you know. It ain’t about you.


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